I haven’t posted something in a while, and my sincere apologies for this. Don’t you also feel like life sometimes just gets in the way?
I am also sitting here thinking about what to write – what to post again after all this time? Do I chat about the “perfect Bride”, or “how to be the Perfect Bridesmaid/what is expected from you”, do I chat about my current favorite make-up or what’s in my make-up travel bag?? Gosh, so many options.
Recently, I really felt it on my heart to chat with the Brides and Bridesmaids…Being in the industry I have noticed that some Ladies forget what a wedding is about. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is supposed to be glamorous, unforgettable and lovely…but it’s certainly not the time or place to “show off” how much money you have, how much you can spend, if you can “beat” you friend (who was a Bride 2 weeks before you) at being the “best Bride”, or the “most expensive Bride”, or “I want everything bigger, better than “her” wedding”. Gosh, no…Do you know how lucky you are if you have found that person who you want to spend the rest of you life with. My husband and I, if we are invited to a wedding – look for those “goosebumps” moments, I mean it’s not something we should look for, it’s something we should feel. Those are the weddings that stand out, those are the wedding that is most unforgettable and THAT couple is the wealthiest of them all!
The Brides who I have worked with who stand out for me, are the Brides who cannot wait to see their husbands, who want to know “How did he react when he received his gift?” or “What did he say?”, these are the types of Brides who love and respects themselves (most importantly) and who feels comfortable in their own skin. Brides who have a calmness over them that if something went wrong (you know, like if the flower lady (florist) used a different shade of pink peony, but is super close to the actual shade the couple chose). One of my most recent Brides flew in from overseas and when she landed in Jo’burg they were unable to fly to Cape Town because of the stormy weather. So she missed her trial with me (unfortunately, I was fully booked that week). The day before her wedding they went to Camp’s Bay – where she lost her wedding ring somewhere in the sand. They had to call a guy (write this down for the future “the ring finder”, you can google him) and in 10 minutes he found her ring. Then, the night before her wedding day, she got so sick she ends up in the hospital where she spent the night. Never in my life, I have met a Bride, while telling me the whole story (meeting her on the wedding day) who laughed about everything, she was such a refreshingly relaxed and graceful Bride. I will never forget her…just because of how she handled the “shittest” experience since landing in South Africa. All this showed me was how excited she is to marry the man of her dreams, how nothing else matters as long as they are standing next to each other saying – I DO.
So don’t get me wrong… Hair and make-up matters. The DRESS matters. The Flowers matter. BUT there comes a point where you should sit back and really think if the way you are handling every situation is the right way if it really is the end of the world if one of the 25 buttons of your dress fell off? (There is always a way of fixing it gracefully). Remember, we as suppliers in the wedding industry, we have all something in common…we love “Love Stories”, we love the “happy endings” and we adore a gorgeous, classy Bride. It isn’t only our reputations on the line, we all work for ourselves (mostly), so we put hard word and dedication into everything we do on your day – All because WE LOVE WEDDINGS. How many you Brides have had this picture in your head of how your wedding dress should look like only to fit it on to find it’s completely the opposite. And the dress-designer give you something she/he thinks will suit your body (even though, you’ll never have picked it out yourself) but, then, when you fit the dress – it’s like a match make in heaven? I have heard so many stories like this…Its because we know what we do:)
WHEN IT COMES TO BRIDESMAIDS…
Photographer: Daune Smith Photography: https://www.facebook.com/DuanesmithPhoto/
Who’s day is this? Certainly not yours. Relax, you will have your time (if you haven’t already). Your best friend asked you to be her Bridesmaid, meaning she wants you to experience the joy she is feeling. And YES, she needs an extra hand…planning a wedding can be somewhat overwhelming, and with all those butterflies, Brides don’t think of everything. Your primary duty as a Bridesmaid is to keep the Bride happy. Secondly, you should make sure her dress is perfect when she walks down that aisle (meaning, pick the damn thing up if she is walking on any dirt or if it’s raining).Thirdly, it’s not about what you want for your hair and make-up, it’s about what she wants. And no, you may not have the same hairstyle. The Bride will never let you feel ugly, I mean she wants pretty photos…so your dress and everything else will be perfect too. If you feel uncomfortable with what she had planned for you – I do feel there is a nice way in saying so – remember she is already stressed out. I also feel that when the Bride is getting dressed – you should be by her side, not in the bathroom applying cream on your legs. Be present in the moment. If she needs Champagne, you should be the one giving it to her. If she needs a tissue, get one. At that time you are also the photographer assistant – it is not the photographer’s job to pick up the Bride’s dress while walking on uneven/dusty areas, it’s not her job to “poof” up the dress if needed…you should have the flowers ready if the photographer needs them for photos. Make sure you have everything ready for the Bride. Think of it like being Father Christmas’s elves. It’s an awesome job, but you are there to assist him and make him happy so all the presents can get there out in time (Pardon my inner-child :))
I had the Biggest Honour of being Bridesmaid for my best friend. Oh I was stressing so much – just because of what I have seen being in the industry. You can either be better best friends after this or it can damage your relationship. I do feel being her Bridesmaid made us so much closer than we ever were before, just because I made her my NUMBER 1 on HER special day. And I just know she appreciated it so much. <3 (love you my friend)
So all that being said, here is a small list for the Bridesmaids and Bride:
BRIDESMAIDS DUTIES (kitchen tea and on the wedding day):
*Throw a Bridal shower/bachelorette – ask your Bride what she wants/her expectations. AND keep record of pre-wedding gifts and thank you cards
*Wear what the couple asks for and pay for it unless the couple decides to be generous.
*Come to rehearsals, show up for Bridal duties (if the Bride wants you to come with for her dress fitting/to the florist etc).
*Assist the Bride with wedding planning if needed.
*Dance at the reception – get the party started.
* Have a filter – complain to the other Bridesmaid/you partner but not to the Bride.
*Be emotionally available.
*Maid of Honour – give a speech at the wedding, tag along where ever the Bride want you too, hold the important stuff (rings, flowers, make-up touch up bag etc), MAKE SURE YOU BRIDE EATS DURING RECEPTION.
Know that is an honor to be your Bridesmaid, but it does get pretty expensive for the Bridesmaids. If you can give the girls an “allowance” to organize your Kitchen tea/bachelorette, or offer to pay for the dresses. Remember for Bridesmaids who are still a student/or have just started their new job/Bridesmaids who are having a baby or if she and her hubby are busy buying a house, paying for the outfit, accommodation, kitchen tea/bachelorette, spa treatments etc can be out of their budget. (and they will feel too bad to say so). Chat to the Bridesmaids so they will know what is expected of them. Choose your Maid of Honour – so there can be a “leader” when it comes to Bridesmaids duties.
Then the most important, enjoy your wedding day, take everything in from the decor/flower to the most important – BE THERE for you husband, tell him how handsome he looks (everybody is so focused on you (the Bride) they forget it’s a BIG DAY for him too.
Well, that’s it…I hope you found it informative. I really meant to write everything with a good heart. Congratulations on your wedding day if you are getting married, may your marriage be filled with timeless love and happiness. If you are a Bridesmaids reading this, I know you are going to rock at being the best Bridesmaids for your friend.
Till next time